Lost & Found....

Being pregnant dishes up all sorts of weird & wonderful things that your body doesn't normally do, some of them horror-story-esque... others, just eye-rollingly, head-shakingly ridiculous.

OK sure, we all know your boobs do their thing... preparing to become a human milk truck is pretty taxing on the puppies and they, well... grow. Without getting too technical, and mindful of TMI,... during pregnancy you are advised not to wear underwire bras as they can interfere with the whole process... which leaves you the (not-so-fabulous) option of the soft cup bra.

Anyway - pointless as it may seem, one purpose the soft cup bra has surprised me with in the past 8 months is the fact that they double as a bonus pocket/pouch/wicket keeper's glove. So handy if you're out & about & need to stash some change for the parking meter, your mascara & mirror, or half a cheese sandwich for 'ron.

Actually. this ain't far from the truth... I can list 10 things, in total honesty that I have discovered in my bra, much to my surprise, and mirth.

1. A Chicken Twistie - a nice big one, not just a crumb.
2. A Lego Block - Piffed across the room from me by a 2y/o with fantastic aim.
3. An Olive - it came off a pizza, I caught it, - look mum no hands - truly awesome.
4. A missing jigsaw puzzle piece. Turned the house upside down looking for it, and voila! Of course, it was in my bra - why didn't I look there first?
5. A Cheese Twistie. I love Twisties.
6. The lid to my eyeliner. - This one was just a good catch on my behalf. This pregnancy has also bestowed upon me a bad case of butterfingers. I am dropping everything, and anything dropped from head height will absolutely, no question, end up in my bra. - My eyeliner lid... she shoots, she scores... 3 POINTER!!
7. Popcorn. Go to the movies, there is no way half a bucket of popcorn wont end up in there. When half the box is gone, no problem, have a rummage, there's plenty left down my top.
8. Waterbottle lids in the car. Butterfingers-Me drops more water bottle lids in the car than is imaginable. 90% of them end up in my bra. Ba-doiing! Howzat!
9. Hair Ties. Trying to 'do' a wriggling protesting toddler's hair in the morning is challenging at the best of times, let alone when you have swollen hands and are rendered immobile under your 9-months-pregnant belly. - So when that hair elastic flicks off your fingers sling shot style backwards towards you, there's only 1 place it's going to end up. In your bra. - This happened to me today. Except I didn't know where it had landed, and found it 12 hours later, over dinner, "What's that you say? You need a hot pink hair elastic?! WAIT! I have one right here. It's your lucky day."
and 10. Ice. It's 3 degrees, it's a frosty morning, I have to drive the car. I have to remove the ice from the windscreen first. Crank up the heater on the windscreen, turn on the wipers, get the bottle of water (with lid, because I found it in my bra) undo it, pour it over the windscreen.. and SLOOSH... - a sloppy frozen icicle sweeps from under the wiper blade, goes flying through the air, slo-mo style and slaps me in the chest. And slides. To its oh-so-warm resting spot.
iiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Good morning neighbours, good morning dogs 4 blocks away, (yes the screams set them off) good morning Rubbish Truck Man copping a perve at the mental pregnant woman riverdancing with her head down her top grabbing at her boobs trying to remove the slurpee from her chest on a frozen Melbourne morn.

Any woman knows soft cup bras are completely crap at their intended job. However, as a multi tasking super mum with 25 things on the go at once, it's nice to know that my bra is looking out for me & helping me out with a few things I can't quite get my hand on. Popcorn anyone?