To Bacon or not to Bacon?

Boy is that a dilemma.

When you're pregnant the list of taboo foods is kilometres long. It starts off with your obvious ones: brie, camembert, sushi, potential dodgy leftovers, or Chinese take away that's been sitting in the bain marie for days.

The exclusion of a soft white cheese from my diet for 9 months is the cause of some grief, but to be honest, I'm not that bothered by it. I miss sushi, but no real tears there. Dodgy leftovers, well... I can fore-go 3 day old Spag Bol, ....and slightly congealed Chinese takeaway in a foodcourt bain marie? I wouldn't have gone there anyway.

But there is one thing on the list that breaks my heart. Every. Single. Day. Smallgoods. The food of the Gods. Hot salamis, mild salamis, pancetta, mortadella, kabana, prosciutto, - oh my goodness I miss prosciutto - shaved ham, baked ham, champagne ham, honey ham, smoked ham, ham on the bone, ham off the bone, I even miss twiggy sticks. (well, not really but you get my point.)

There is, however, a slightly grey area, that I have guiltily taken advantage of. No where on the taboo list is bacon.
I know that any person with mild intelligence and a slight appreciation of pork products will know that bacon really ain't that different to ham... But the silver lining, the listeria loophole that I'm hanging on to, is that you get to fry the crap out of bacon and cook it til it's smokin' hot. See-ya later salmonella!

Bring on the BLT!
Eggs & Bacon for brekky? - Yes please!
Bacon bits on a salad? - (can you eat salad without bacon? That's the real question here!!) Bacon on pizza?
Bacon on cornflakes? (I'll give it a go!)

Ration me with rashers and I'll be happy as a pig in... well, maybe the pig reference isn't appropriate in this situation...

Yes, I plead guilty to the Smallgoods Police. I have eaten bacon during my pregnancy. Not a lot to be honest, but if a little bit pops up in my pasta dish, I'm not going to cry about it.

However, it is possible that you might see a pregnant woman with a mad look in her eye, crying at the fabulous Italian deli down the road, (and possibly licking the windows.) If you do, you can always lure me away with the promise of a crispy steaming hot rasher of that salty smoked bacony goodness.

Baby Brain

During my first pregnancy I thought 'Baby Brain'/'Pregnancy Brain'/'Mummy Madness' - call it what you will, was a myth. That was until I was approximately 40 weeks pregnant and locked myself out of the house on a 40 degree day... only to find... (when the locksmith arrived 2 hours later) I was trying to use the wrong key in the lock... and yes, there were only 3 keys to choose from.
(He assured me it was our little secret.)

However, I thought that being overdue, overhot and over 'IT'... I had an excuse, sure... anyone could've made that mistake!!

This time I find myself dealing with Mummy Madness on almost a daily basis. I am 17 weeks pregnant with my second child, and so far I have:

• nearly burnt the kitchen down 3 times (husband only thinks it's once... shhh)
  
• somehow discovered the car keys in the freezer, (who put them there?!)
  
• have completely forgotten regular appointments, peoples' names, my home phone number...

and i still have 23 weeks to go until the Little One arrives.

Perhaps this means Number Two will be a genius, zapping me of any brain function I once had? Or perhaps this means I will forget to take the baby home from Hospital... "Hmmm, what was I doing again?"

The only thing that stops me writing my life down on every surface around me Memento style, is the fact that I know I'm not alone. I've heard some fabulous examples of 'The Madness' from friends: Leaving the house completely unlocked and wide open for an entire weekend, while they were away on the 'last hoorah' before baby arrives, (OK, this one was possibly mine... again, shhh, that's just between you and me.) Many other examples of Baby Brain either involve the toilet, or the fridge: putting toilet paper in the fridge (oooh cold loo paper - just for bit of a thrill!) Or just popping your clothes into the loo instead of the laundry basket.

These women are intelligent, sane, rational, professional women with nice big IQs and nice big.... temporarily squishy... brains. Rumour has it your faculties never really return 100%. I'd like to think that I will one day confidently converse with the adult amongst us and that my toilet paper will one day be room temperature again.

Until that time, I am upping my contents insurance and keeping a pen & a pad of post-its handy.